women pay to give me hand jobs

yoga4dogs:

A video of me destroying an original pressing of the Velvet Underground & Nico.

WOW. I don’t even have the words to express how I feel… not only did you destroy an “original pressing”, you destroyed the only copy of The Velvet Underground & Nico pressed by the Command label in existence, with the logo they stopped using six years before the album came out. Amazing!

If you’re going to troll people at least man the fuck up and snap in half not only the actual record, but a real first pressing (under $20). Faggot.

i feel like having sex with a girl out side my race is the same as going hunting for exotic game in africa or the rain forest or something
hi :(
Tracy Chapman gave Americans the idea that the patriarchal society established by our forefathers could some day be overturned by a black woman, and that a “whisper revolution” of lesbianism could flourish in the streets. Then, seemingly from nowhere, Hootie and the Blowfish emerged. They taught us that time would punish the black woman, and reinstate the black man as king. And now Barack Obama is president.
in need of a make out party

jonnywanser:

my life and what its become hahahalol

ok

but I ID as queer, not bisexual. Just FYI.
i’m drinking for two now :)
omg speccial news!!!

A girl once offered me a strand of her hair, I thought ” what can I do with a strand of hair”. so i thought how great would it be if i could take a strand of a woman’s hair, and plant it in the soil of my backyard and fertilize it with my own urine to cultivate and grow into another copy of the same person, and pull out of the ground like carrots when its ready to harvest. If i live in a rice farm with 400 acres of land i could cut off a whole handful of hair and grow a whole field of women.. or men for that matter but they have to be interesting like fashion designers or slaves.. or personal trainers who don’t know what they’re doing. but a whole field women would inevitabley require chemical fertilizers, so there would be a good chance my women would come out hermaphrodites, or have loose butts that sag down to their ankles. and after all that went through my head i said “alright i’ll have a strand of your hair”.